Dr. Kortni Alston Lemon (00:00)
Happy Wellbeing Wednesday, I'm Dr. Kortni I am so happy that you're here. If you're regular listener, you may have noticed it's been a couple of weeks since our last episode. Well, I needed a pause. Life has been transitioning in big ways. Many ways good, and in many ways not so good.
Over the past few weeks, I've been processing some deep personal losses from family members I was born to, to those I chose. Each one has shaped me. Each one has stayed with me. And while I'm still navigating those emotions, I knew I wanted to return today with an episode that holds space for one loss in particular. One that continues to echo in my life and my work.
This episode is in honor of Rose Tibayan, my friend, my mentor, my sister in spirit, and this is all happening on the first anniversary of her passing. And before we begin, I wanna say this. I hope this pause teaches you that is okay to pause to.
This podcast is not just about sharing lessons, it's about living them. And sometimes living the lesson means stepping away, being still, and feeling what needs to be felt. Rose left us June 20th of last year, 2024, after a courageous 14 month long fight with cancer.
And although it's now a full year later, her life is shining brightly in everything I do. This episode is for her. And it's for every journalist who's ever grieved quietly while still trying to do their job. I've been there. Journalists are trained, as you know, we're trained to kind of keep going, to meet deadlines, to power through, but
What happens when you're grieving? What happens when your own world has shifted and the world still expects you to show up? One year ago when Rose died, I was devastated. And yet the work didn't stop. the emails didn't slow down. The responsibilities kept, kept knocking.
I learned, I've learned over time, especially when I was a reporter in Philadelphia and I became a widow at 25. 25 years old, learned, grief is just not something you just get over. It's something you grow through.
It can change your lens if you let it, and it can also deepen your compassion for others too. This episode is that space to grieve, to reflect, to be honest about what it means to carry loss while holding up the newsroom. Now, if you follow this podcast, you know my story.
And you know how much Rose meant to me, continues to mean to me. She wasn't just a friend or mentor. You know, she was someone who truly lived with purpose. Rose was one of the most compassionate people I have ever known.
I remember watching her on television when I was early career journalist, admiring her presence, her polish, her brilliance. And I eventually reached out to her, not knowing what might've come of it, but the rest was history. She took me in, first as her mentee and then something even more profound. I like to say magical.
I became a friend. Our bond grew into something extraordinary. She became my sister, a guide, a steady light in every chapter of my career and my life. I cherished the time I spent with her three months before she passed. And there's something sacred in those moments, because they were filled with.
lots of laughter, it's vulnerability and a quiet knowing. Even in face of illness, she gave her full self the same radiance and love that defined her entire life. Rose moved to the Midwest.
years ago, more than 20 years ago, I believe.
to be with her husband Don Villar who, gosh, he's just incredible, an award-winning producer, and now attorney, and part of the Chicago Federation of Labor. They had met in their lives in journalism.
highly involved in the Asian American Journalists Association. Rose, a former television news reporter, and Don, a former TV writer and producer, as I mentioned. for ABC7 in Chicago. Now, I can go on and on about them as a couple. They were remarkable. They were a remarkable couple, rooted in storytelling.
Service and love. I had a chance to speak to Don a few weeks ago and I told him if my husband Ken and I could touch the world the way he and Rose did together with the kind of impact, humility and unity, it would be an honor. Their partnership was beautiful. Their legacy is undeniable.
Rose began a career. I remember she would talk about being a page in NBC's Rockefeller Plaza, working her way to become a news assistant. And I also recall her talking about a conversation she had with TV news legend Connie Chung. It was a game changer. Connie encouraged her, to pursue reporting. And Rose did just that.
She went to report and stations from Guam, Fort Myers, New Jersey, Philadelphia.
Her work was bold, compassionate, fearless. Her stories, just like her, sharp. Her presence, unforgettable. Rose was also a published author. She wrote the resume tape book.
This was a 400 page guide that has helped so many aspiring television journalists break into the industry, including me. She believed in lifting others and she gave us the tools to climb. She even invited me to write a chapter in her book. I was and continue to be deeply honored. That invitation wasn't just a professional opportunity, it was an act of love and belief.
She trusted me to share my story and she gave me space to stand alongside hers. That's the kind of woman Rose was, always reaching back, always elevating others. Rose transitioned into corporate communications and also she had an incredible entrepreneurial spirit.
And I remember when she founded Black Line Review, a digital media company focused on startups and her storytelling excellence didn't stop there. And beyond the newsroom, Rose glowed. Literally, her beauty was magnetic, her heart radiant.
Philippines USA and competed in the Mrs. International Beauty Pageant in 2014. And I remember attending the pageant while I was in my PhD program at the University of Florida.
The pageant was in Florida, so I was so happy that I could be there, so excited. I beamed with pride watching Rose walk the stage, confident, graceful, and so very Rose. She was also deeply involved in her community, both she and Don. Always giving back, always championing others, always showing up with a smile.
and always lighting up the room. And when she showed that same radiant strength, even during difficult times.
Rose was a journalist, a mentor, an author, an entrepreneur, and a beauty queen. Devoted wife, sister. I mean, the list goes on from aunt to friend to all. But more than that, Rose was love.
true love, true love, compassion, empathy, and I miss her every day. Rose Impact didn't end with her life. It continues to grow. It speaks to her whole being. The Chicago chapter of the Asian American Journalists Association has created a scholarship fund in her honor.
A beautiful tribute to the woman who gave so much to others and now continues to do so. You'll find the link to the scholarship fund in the show notes. I hope you consider donating to help future journalists rise just like Rose helped so many of us. And if you're carrying grief right now, whether it's fresh or something that you've held on to a few years, please know this.
You don't have to carry it alone. You're allowed to feel, you're allowed to rest, and you're allowed to heal. And there's no one size fits all to grieving.
It's only your way.
honoring that is an act of strength, not weakness. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is to give ourselves permission to pause, just like I did for the past two weeks and trust that our healing is not a detour from our work. It is the work. It is the work.
Rose mentored me, she championed me, she shaped me, and now a year after her passing, I continue to live by the values she modeled with grace, strength, generosity, and joy. So to every journalist listening, if you have produced a story with a heavy heart, if you've anchored a broadcast while grieving,
If you tried to hold it all together while falling apart inside, this episode is for you. Take time. Honor your heart.
Your well-being is your most important job. And I'm always here to help. Thanks for listening.
